Pray Now Zimbabwe

Ok, so I’ve gotten behind in my events due to a lack of electricity or Internet or time. Again, welcome to Zimbabwe. So here has been my last couple of days…

MONDAY: I worked at the Institute all day. I had some time in the evening, however, so Juliet and I decided to go outside to hang out around the compound. Soccer aka “football” aka “borra” is really popular here. A few of the guys were out playing Monkey-in-the-Middle, soccer-style. They were actually using the soccer ball I gave them! One or two guys were just standing around watching, so Juliet and I joined. It was nice just hanging around, but I’m far more into getting into the games. I could only take it for so long until I had to join. Now, mind you, I’ve played many sports throughout my life- soccer was never one. I’m not good at it and I have just never had any interest. My adventurous spirit got the best of me, though. So Juliet and I joined in, and although we didn’t do well, we could at least keep up and have a good time. I had to reapply bug spray twice because mosquitoes were on the attack and I’m not exactly a fan of malaria or such.

After eating all the sadza and fatty beef, etc. for every meal (not to mention the full cream as milk, loads of butter, sugar, etc.), I decided to go for a jog. Juliet agreed to join, then I convinced Mbuya Evelyn’s two older sons, Luke and Isaiah, to join. They told me they were out of shape, so I figured it would be just a quick little outing. Oh my goodness was I wrong! Juliet dropped back with Luke about a half a mile into our jog, but Isaiah pushed me like you cannot even imagine. I am not in great shape myself, so I was just planning on maybe a mile or two. No, no, he had me jog at least three miles all over Borrowdale (the area in Harare that we live in). Juliet and Luke finally caught up with us and the boys took Juliet and I all over. We went through pastures and fields and even a compound. We walked for about five miles – in addition to the three miles we’d already finished.

It was about 8 pm and very dark by the time we were getting home. (There are no street lights) Juliet then discovered that she had lost her phone. We then recruited two of Luke’s friends that I’d met earlier, Costa and Kingston, to journey back out with us in search of it. I kept calling the phone so we would be able to hear it since it was pitch black outside. It rang for a while, but then as we approached the general area where it should’ve been, someone began pushing the End button when I called. The guys ran ahead to try and catch whoever had it, but the jerk turned off the phone and probably hid in the fields we were walking between. So Juliet got her phone stolen.

As we were walking back, I stepped in one of the many huge potholes in the little clay-dirt road that cars had to form themselves. It was full of water and I ruined my nice pink and white tennis shoes that I loved so much. Now they’re my brown and pinkish tennis shoes. Welcome to Africa, I guess.

We got back around 8:30 pm and Pastor LJ was gone. We found out later that he had to drive a man from the compound next door to the rural areas because the man’s father passed away. When someone dies here, everyone goes to the house immediately to mourn and stays there until the burial. It’s made into a big ordeal apparently – far more than back home.

So Juliet and I heated up dinner on the gas stove – by candlelight because there was no electricity or water – and had dinner. I also took a quick bath in inch-deep freezing water from a bucket, but only after I’d fished out the cricket that had decided to visit. This was also all done by candlelight. How all the houses here don’t burn down, I don’t know!

TUESDAY: Spent another day working at the Institute. Afterwards, we went to Pastor LJ’s brother’s house. His brother is a diplomat and lives in the nicest house that I’ve been in so far here. His daughter, Treat, is 22 years old and I thank God for letting us meet. LJ was waiting for his brother to get home, so we ended up hanging out at the house for over an hour or two. Juliet and I watched a little tv. (It was the first time I’ve watched tv since I’ve been here – SkyNews showing the Prime Minister’s briefing, so exciting…) Treat and I ended up talking then for a long time. She is from Zimbabwe of course, but she grew up in New York and has travelled the world and now goes to school in South Africa. She is the first cultured person around my age that I’ve met here. It was amazing to feel “civil” again and have someone to relate to.

Pastor LJ’s brothers finally got there and we had a big meal of, you guessed it, sadza, chicken, and collared greens. It was really good in comparison to the fatty chicken I’ve had the rest of the time here, so I was happy. I even ate with my hands like a good little African girl. (When eating sadza, you don’t use utensils at all for the entire meal… I haven’t quite embraced that part of the culture yet, but I made an exception in this case.)

After dinner, around 9:30, we left for the Farm with a full car. It was Pastor Lovejoy, Juliet, Lovejoy’s brother and his wife, Patrick and Thandi, and myself. We arrived there after 10:45 and I was absolutely exhausted after not very much sleep the night before and busy days. We visited with the family for a while – 4 boys and 2 girls – and then I finally had to excuse myself to bed. I’m sorry, but this time I just could not continue being polite and visiting when my body was shutting down I was so exhausted and I knew we were supposed to be up at 6 am for their daily family prayer and devotional.

Now Patrick’s wife, Thandi, is the most traditional African woman I’ve gotten to know so far. I could tell she wasn’t pleased with everything from my attire – a long skirt and T-shirt rather than a longER skirt and traditional top – to my lack of work since I’m a female (I had no idea what to do!). She showed me to the room I was to stay in and informed me that I’d be sharing a twin-sized bed with one of the girls, Alice. I told her I’d be happy to sleep on the couch or the floor; and I meant it. I don’t want to sound like a complete brat, but I just cannot sleep with anyone else in a small bed. I’m the lightest sleeper and I need my space or I just physically cannot sleep. I was so exhausted though that perhaps I’d fall asleep regardless.

I had to use the restroom before I went to bed. I tried to put it off because I didn’t know how to go about doing so in their house, but my bladder was about to explode. There was no running water at the time and a sign above the toilet about what to do if you flush the toilet. I’ve been in so many places where you don’t flush when there’s no running water and I didn’t understand what the sign was talking about. I know other people had used this bathroom, though, so it obviously works. So I decided to simply go and not flush for safe measures since I didn’t want to screw anything up. I got back into bed and heard the girls making a big fuss about how gross it was that I didn’t flush. The bathroom had smelled of urine before I even went in there anyways! I was so embarrassed and confused about everything. Apparently they were also unimpressed with me about something else, but I was so clueless and confused that I didn’t know what to do. So all of this, plus my exhaustion, made for me crying myself to sleep that night. Or rather, crying to myself for a while since I never actually fell asleep. Alice was obviously annoyed to share a bed with me also, which didn’t help my situation when I already felt so lost and bad about everything and didn’t know how to solve anything. That was probably my worst night yet.

WEDNESDAY: I got up and from the start felt like no one wanted anything to do with me after last night. I still was so uncertain about the culture and what to do that I kept feeling like a piece of scum. Thandi asked if I wanted to bathe, but of course I didn’t know what exactly that entailed at her house, so I politely declined the offer. She then came back a little bit later and told me that actually she was requiring me to do so. (I promise I wasn’t stinky or dirty at this point!) So I went in there and used the bucket of water to rinse myself and do the best I could with such a little amount of cold water. She could tell how flustered I was, though, and before she left me in the bathroom to try to figure this out, so gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. It was very genuine and comforting, and although it didn’t fix anything, it was the first motherly-love I’ve felt here. I was so emotional at this point that I almost burst out in tears right then and there upon receiving this affection. I controlled myself, though, and just thanked her and carried on in my mess of mess-ups.

We had porridge and these blocks of cereal for breakfast, then Juliet and I walked over to the LEAD preschool that the orphans attend. (it was within sight of the house – an easy walk) Pastor LJ assigned me to a project to basically do a mini portfolio on each of the orphans so that people back in the States or around the world can sponsor one. They don’t have anything, so even just $10 would help more than you could ever believe. Let me know if you’re interested.

None of the children can speak English, so the teacher helped me out. I’d guess she was about 24-years-old and had brought her baby to class with her because she obviously had no other options. She also wasn’t my biggest fan, but I think this was more so just because I was an “ignorant American girl.” I can honestly say I don’t think I did anything wrong with her, but she didn’t much like me from the start. We pulled the kids out one by one to take their picture and find out each child’s interests so I could get a mini-profile-thing going. Each kid was excited, but obviously scared of the camera. I couldn’t tell the gender of half of the kids because they all have shaved heads and most of them were unintentional cross-dressers since they don’t exactly have many clothes options. For instance, one little boy had on hot-pink overalls, while a wide-eyed girl wore a blue-striped polo and khaki pants. Needless to say, all the clothes were tattered and filthy. Some of the kids didn’t even have shoes, and of the lucky ones that did, maybe two or three actually had ones that fit. Yet none of this even fazed them. They all were just happy to be at school and have someone to take care of them through the LEAD program.

In doing the project, I asked each one what they like. (or rather, the teacher asked them in Shona) Most of them said sweets or playing or school, but I did get a few answers that made me laugh such as: “Murungu” (aka “white person” in Shona), “some biscuits”, “telephone”, “drinking”. One boy, Spencer, stood out big time. He was very naughty, but a leader in the same. He kept “flirting” with Juliet and me. He also said that he doesn’t like me taking pictures because he “doesn’t want to be sucked into the ‘tin’ (camera).” He’d wipe the air in front of him if I did take his picture because it “stopped him from being stuck in there.” It was all in fun, and it made me laugh.

Before class was dismissed, the children had lunch, which they all brought from “home” (the houses that they stay in). Each child’s lunch was simply half a cob of corn because that’s all that was available. A few of the lucky ones got a mango as well. They all shared with one another – including taking bites out of the mangos – and even ate off the floor. At one point a few of the kids were pretending like they were still eating as a game after they’d finished their corn. (It reminded me of Peter Pan how the “Lost Boys” would just imagine they were eating because they had no food, but it’d then become real and fill them up.)

After we got back from the preschool, Thandi’s boys asked me when I was coming back to visit. I thought it was more so like, “Oh, please don’t come back, we need to brace ourselves for if you do…” but turns out they actually wanted me to. They started to lighten up to me and we actually ended up hanging out. They showed me around the farm – I watched a guy milk a cow, saw how they process tobacco for manufacture, visited their pigs, etc. – and I showed them my laptop and pictures from home. We even made plans for Saturday to go into town and see a movie and then they were planning to take me to an event called “Miss Tourism” with them. I was so excited to finally have friends and plans even! (I’m writing this in the present, on Saturday, see how it turns out…)

So we left the Farm after lunch and when we got home there was still no electricity. I bathed in cold water once again (because the helped, Mbuya Evelyn definitely doesn’t like me). When other people are around she’ll be civil and treat me like she does the other people, but when it’s just me she just rolls her eyes if I ask her a question or for help (in the same way Juliet and LJ ask her). She doesn’t help me either. Oh well, I guess it’s all part of the process in learning to fend for myself here.

Simon & I at farm  Spencer- Naughty

THURSDAY: Juilet and I got a day off because Treat had arranged for us to hang out and got permission from Pastor Lovejoy. I was so excited to have a day with someone I could relate to! She was taking Juliet and I out to show us around and just spend a fun day out. We were supposed to meet her in town, so Juliet brought me with her to a hair salon so she could get her hair done first. (Oh my, getting your hair done for an African is quite an process!) Her hair was going to take about four hours, though, so Treat and I went ahead and Juliet was going to call us to meet up when she was done. (She ended up not contacting us all day because she was spending it with her boyfriend. I was fine with that – actually liked the time with Treat alone – but wasn’t pleased with her lack of consideration in letting me know. I brushed it off, though.)

Turns out there really aren’t many fun places in Zimbabwe, but Treat and I still enjoyed the day in Borrowdale Village (an upper scale shopping strand). We just chatted and window-shopped – I have no money to spare while I’m here. She told me about her family and life and allowed me to vent and reminiscent of my life back home. To top it off, I got a pear as part of my lunch – a fresh fruit to remind me of home! Let me tell ya, that was the best dang pear I’ve had in my entire life. We ddin’t really do anything of importance all day, but it was still a great time out with a new friend.

We ran into a couple of Treat’s friends throughout the day. Two guys even invited us out for a night on the town tonight (as in Friday night, I wrote this yesterday). They’re trying to convince me that Africa is not all that bad. I got permission from Lovejoy in return for me putting in a hard day’s work if I could arrange transportation home afterwards. (Written Friday: So although I’m so tired, I’m looking forward to meeting new people and seeing the night life of Harare tonight.)

After our visit, Lovejoy took us to Spar – the popular grocery store chain here – to get some groceries. Much of the food was way more expensive here than even back in the States. For instance, a box of Kellogs Frosted Flakes (or Frosties as it’s named here, Tony the Tiger and all) was over $7. This was an extreme, mind you, but still. And don’t even think about Splenda or low-fat anything – it’s all real and rich.

Pastor Lovejoy knows how much I’ve been dying for just a nice, refreshing salad, so he surprised me with lettuce, bell peppers, cucumber, and some salad dressing. I was so excited! So I prepared the salad while we heated up, what else, but sadza and fatty beef. The lettuce ended up being spoiled, so the salad was a flop. We still picked through it to the few goodies (veggies other than gross lettuce) and ate the rest of the meal. He said we’ll try the lettuce again at another place sometime.

Oh, and random note: The guys I’ve made friends with (Mbuya Evelyn’s sons, Thandi’s boys, and Treat’s friends) have started texting me. They’re even inviting me out places. Look at that – Dani is making friends!!

Julie’s old hair  Treat & me

FRIDAY: I woke up at 7 am and packed my bag to go out tonight. We had a quick breakfast and drove into town to buy some supplies for the tasks of the day. It took forever to buy because people have no motivation here, so they were all lazy and took their time with everything. We got to the Institute and Juliet and I painted bookshelves for the library. (see pictures) We ran out of paint, though, so I don’t know what will come about in the end. Lovejoy taught his seminary class. Now I’m all gross and covered in paint, but off to town soon to catch a ride to Treat’s to get ready and go out with Tafara and Andy. I haven’t had electricity, or time, for days, so I’m way behind on my emails and such. I’m really missing some people from home. Oh, and I’m still trying to get used to Juliet’s new hair-do. I’m learning that I don’t handle change that well, and her new appearance is taking some time to get used to. (again, see pictures)

(Note: this was written on Friday and I’m typing it up now on Saturday) I’m finally starting to get into the swing of things here. I’m making friends, but still haven’t fully come to the realization that I’m here for about eight months. This is my life, not just a visit. I still think of it at times like I’m just here temporarily. I WISH!

Ok, I’m caught up to what I’d written previously. It’s Saturday evening now, so I’ll now write from the perspective of the present…

After work, Lovejoy dropped Juliet into town and drove me to Treat’s house. I was trying to call Treat because that hadn’t been the plans, but the network was down. I tried over and over to call/text her, but to no avail. On the drive, though, I heard that Miapamala, a woman that works in the Institute doing all the odd-jobs, was overheard talking with someone else about how impressed she is with my hard work ethic. Lovejoy said that apparently she was really touched to see me, a white person, serving alongside, even under in many cases, the black Africans. It touched me to hear that maybe I am actually making a difference to show that color is no issue. I am a human being, just as everyone else, regardless of race, and I’m serving to the best of my ability. I guess it really changed her perception of white people, or so I was told.

Anyways, so I was dropped off at Treat’s house and no one was home, but Lovejoy just had me stay there with their helper, Charity. I still couldn’t get a hold of Treat, so I just had to hope she’d come home soon. My gut instinct told me I should’ve just ridden home with LJ when I had the chance, but I didn’t want to bail on Treat so I stayed. I tried getting in contact with Treat non-stop for over three hours while I just sat there. Her poor helper, Charity, was trying to make me feel comfortable, but she just actually made things so much more awkward. There wasn’t anything to do, and she couldn’t speak hardly any English, so we just sat there. We tried to communicate a bit, but again, it was painfully awkward. I did manage to learn that she’s 21-years-old, has a little boy, is divorced and has a certificate for interior design. She is just earning enough money doing the housework here now to eventually get a passport and move to South Africa to work in interior design. She showed me some of her work and pictures of her family and friends. Even then, as much as we were trying to be cool, it was so uncomfortable. I honestly would’ve rather just sitting alone, but I think she didn’t feel comfortable with that since although she knows Lovejoy and knew that Treat and I were friends and had plans, she didn’t want to risk the idea of me stealing or breaking anything. It was three miserable hours. Then finally Treat called me and came home immediately, but even that took a long time.

By the time Treat got there, I was exhausted. I really wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep or cry or something, but I decided to suck it up and make the most of my night and meet new people. She was with two friends already, so these guys drove us around. One was completely wasted and offered me a drink, but I politely declined. I don’t think a mission trip should include too much alcohol if I do say so myself… We drove to pick up another one of her friends. It was about half an hour or longer or a drive, and we got her friend at a party. They wanted to hang out there for a while so I went in and met everyone and hung out. I didn’t want to be a party-pooper, but I was just plain exhausted and didn’t want to be there. Regardless, I kept a smile on my face and socialized. The party reminded me a long of house parties back home. One girl was really drunk, though, and amazed at having a white person at her party. She was all over me and being really aggressive about being my friend. Oh well, it was an experience to say the least.

I finally convinced Treat and them to head back to Borrowdale where we were supposed to meet up with the guys from the start. We got to the place and I just talked with them for a little bit, but after such a lousy night, I was ready to call it quits. I got a ride home by myself because Treat wanted to stay and hang out. I was lucky to remember the way home from there, but I couldn’t call LJ to come pick me up after he’d already let me come out and gas costs so much so he hates driving.

So that was my first night out. I don’t think I can say I enjoyed one bit of it, but oh well. You live you learn… at least I was still excited about the plans I had for today, Saturday, with Thandi’s sons. I liked them better anyways, so I was still trying to stay positive.

So I woke up this morning and was really happy to have a fun day out with the guys. We had plans for 3. They were going to drive into town and even come pick me up (like I said, LJ isn’t a fan of driving). Then we were definitely on for a movie and the “Miss Tourism” was a maybe. I took a bath. It was a luke-warm bath, even, because I had the house to myself so I could heat up water. I took my time and enjoyed it – I even shaved for the first time since I’ve been here! Yummy, I know. So I got all ready and actually look nice.

I was warned before about “Africa time,” where 3 o’clock really means between 3:00 and 7:00. It is now 5:30 pm and I’m still sitting here, all dressed and ready to go. I called Willard, one of the brothers that I have plans with – the one I’ve been talking to the most that said we are “for sure on for the movies.” He informed me that actually they probably aren’t coming today, but he’ll let me know. Don, his brother, just called me to tell me they’re still at the Farm (over an hour away) and may come to town later, but probably won’t be hanging out. I really wanted to go out today, so I texted Treat to see what she’s doing. I haven’t heard back. I talked to Luke, who told me over an hour ago that he wants to go to the “Miss Tourism” thing with me. I haven’t heard from him since even though he told me he was less than 2 km away and on his way home when we talked. Let’s see… I imagine Tafara would like to go with me since he had also invited me, even though I turned him down because I had plans with Thandi’s boys already, but from the way things are going, I’d probably just be setting myself up for even more disappointment. The things is, though, this is just a way of life here. None of these people feel bad and none have even tried to make an excuse. It’s just like if you show up, you show up. If not, then no big deal. Maybe it’s because there’s such poor cell phone service, maybe because the transportation is so limited, I don’t know. All I know is that I am not used to this, and I feel like I’d been punched in the stomach about four-times over. This is just constant disappointment. I am sitting here while Mbuya Evelyn (the maid that hates me) cooks, and I’m actually looking ok, dressed to go out for the day, on the verge of tears once again.

I just want to go home so badly. I want to at least call home! But even then, it’s way too expensive. That is, if the reception would even work, which is doubtful – not to mention the time difference would make things inconvenient for people at home. I’ve bailed on people before, but always for a good reason. And even then, I felt really bad and would let them know ASAP that I wasn’t going to be able to make it. These people just leave me hanging. They have no intentions of coming and no intentions of even informing me that I’ve been ditched.

My eyes are brimming with tears right now, but I don’t want to mess up my make-up in the off chance that Luke still happens to follow through. The “Miss Tourism” thing isn’t until 7 pm, so for all I know, he’ll just show up at the door at 6:45 or 7… or 8 for that matter. I want to just curl into bed and be depressed and cry, but I’m trying to keep at least a little hope and stay as positive as I can that maybe I’ll actually go out tonight and maybe even have a little bit of fun if I do. Then again, why am I setting myself up for even more heartbreak?

This is teaching me many things. First, I need to learn to deal with change and disappointment better. Second, I never again want to flake on someone, even if better plans come up. Third, I need to get used to this African way of life where nothing is certain and I can’t hold any expectations or get my hopes up. If it happens, it happens, sweet. But like I said, I want absolutely nothing more than to go home right now. The little glimmer or hope that I’d found has been completely washed away and filled with even more sadness and loneliness. I miss all my friends and family – people that actually care about me and my feelings! Then again, I know these people actually do like me, it’s just they are oblivious that their actions may hurt. Like I said, it’s just the norm here, but it’s new to me and it really does hurt. God, I wish I had worn waterproof mascara at least; it’s SO hard to fight back the tears right now. And if I do end up going out tonight – which is doubtful – I pray no one tells me that my hair is messed up or that the sky is cloudy because I think I’d burst into tears at anything. God, I NEED you now… where are you??!